My Theory on High Gasoline Prices

Haven't we all become so tired of the monotonous reports in every source of news regarding how much were paying at the pump?! I know I have. It seems that the same facts are being presented all day everyday, but who has an explanation or a solution? Neither objects of useful information have been relayed, but for some reason unbenunced to me, they continue to hit the replay button on the drudgery of pulling into your local Chevron.

Secondly, in the uplifting list of announcements the stoic news anchor has to tell us, is, 'We're fat', 'Oh and don't forget, everything is going up in price and potentially sales tax too!'. How wonderful!

See, the truth is actually quite simple. We have heard, and seen, and felt, for quite sometime now that a major portion of Americans are obese; and truly have had no motivation to change. This posed a considerable problem for health insurance companies because now they are paying out big bills for the deteriorating health of their clients. What better way to "motivate"--(ehhemm...force!) the general obese American population to get their tushes moving then to raise the price of gas and in unison the price of food? Brilliant! This recession or 'slow down' has nothing to do with economy, rather it was the remedy for obesity. Americans were making a lot of money, buying bigger vehicles(multiple too), and eating out more frequently, and as a result gained more weight then anyone knew how to handle. We have all had days where we feel fat, and those days often leave us with a lazy, unmotivated, grumpy attitude...so it's no wonder people weren't up trying to go to the gym and do something about it! Instead money would fix the momentary depression with a double chocolate fudge sundae, or a Deep fried steak with extra onion rings---because they are on the Atkins diet of course;0)-- The best way for the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to get us up and active was to not give us an option.

Statistics have shown a massive decrease in mileage driven once prices reached $4p/g, and as a replacement many people have come to rely on bicycles and tennis shoes to reach their destinations. Also, we are eating more reasonable portion sizes, not only because we now have direct deposit at Exxon, but in addition the rising costs at the supermarket. Dr. Laura says it simply,'Eat less. Move More.' it's the lasting cure for weight-loss.

All-in-all, the government actually knocked out three birds with one stone! Food prices up= assist us with portion control, and Gas prices up= motivate Americans to be active, and lower emissions("global warming") :) how kind of them...