Busy-ness

Living in the Bay Area we are used to life at a break-neck speed. Fast food, fast transportation, high-speed Internet, speed dating, running to pick up the kids, off to practice, dashing to the office; long gone are the days of mid-afternoon coffee breaks where businesses closed to enjoy the company of their fellow employees, and regroup their thoughts. I believe that we have become so accustomed to our busy schedules that we forget to stop and enjoy the moment. When was the last time you truly sat down and enjoyed a meal with family or friends? How about the last time you watched the sunset? When was the last time you played with your children and enjoyed their laughter? when was the last time you showed your spouse you loved them?

Somehow all of these important interactions so easily grace the backdrop of life and the tasks and duties of the daily grind take the main stage. We sometimes take those important things for granted as if there will always be time for them later...but when does 'later' ever truly arrive? Quite the opposite is actually true; work will always remain, laundry hampers will always be full, dust will continually mound on the furniture, toys and shoes will always be found out of place, the garage could always be more organized, but the nurturing you give to your children and the love you give to your spouse will make your home a restful place and bring your heart contentment amidst the unfinished chores.

Ladies, love your husband. Remember how you were when you first caught each others eye, and don't ever lose that. I can only speak from observation, but I stand by my word when I say, don't deprive your husband of the love and respect he needs. Take the time to put yourself together before he walks in the door from a long day at work; do not nag him with a 'honey do' list as his greeting, instead a kiss. Be a joy for him to arrive home to. Don't starve him of intimacy because you have exhausted yourself from a long day...just as much as you might need adoration he needs intimacy. This is why I say, choose your daily duties accordingly; if it's going to make you too tired to be a good wife, then write it on a list to complete another day.

Why do I bring this up? Not because I am married and have the answers, but because of what I have seen and heard from many marriages. I can only speak to women on this subject. Don't put your husband last in line, do not assume he will always be there. If you have chosen wisely he will remain faithful, but his heart will be detached. Why deny the man you once held as your king, your knight in shining armor? His needs should be a priority in your life far above your to-do list. Is not his happiness more important than having an orderly house? Also, doing your part and being a good wife will leave you with a peaceful heart&mind knowing that there is no one else your man would rather come home to.

Love is a multi-dimensional verb. It's being patient, kind, slow to get angry, not quick to judge, not envious or proud, it rejoices with good, and its not selfish. Love is something you give without expectancy of return. It is a gift. So take the challenge with me, try for one day to focus on doing loving actions, words, and/or gestures for those around you. Talk is nice, but love transforms.